Why do I keep talking and writing about her. It’s really frustrating, the thread of my love connected to the concept of her hasn’t broken, instead it is stronger. This is why I hate my mind, as it has become wired to love her, love someone who will never love me. What tears at me in the deepest bowels of my core is that, as I write that she will never love me, my mind has deluded me into believing it not to be true; and as I write this fact mind has done the same once again so on and so forth. I am so deluded that I cannot shake this illusion of love.
I think about her every day, some days worse than others. I get reminded of her face and how I think she is absolutely adorable. I love how sarcastic and smart she is. She is so outrageous and funny and I feel she is the one whose madness matches mine. Regrettably, I feel this may be one of my delusions again. To have the audacity to think that my chaos is like hers… well that was some self-deprecation. I simply say it b